Sauron the MarySue
by PrinceMarth
Summary: jsut read it


The beautiful disclaimer, I obviously do not own Lord of the Rings. If I did would I be writing a FanFic? Probably not. It would be called an owner's fic. Food for your thoughts.  
  
Now I know I usually write Resident Evil fics, but my friend gave me the bug for writing Lord of the Rings parodies. So here is my second one called Sauron: The Friend of the Free Peoples of Middle Earth.  
  
Marth was following the fellowship again. He just loved the way the walkers acted to his funny work. Because Kitty had had them to herself once Marth decided it was his turn to be alone. Marth made a huge box that nothing, not even a Balrog, could penetrate. It was invisible to their eyes. Perfect they walked right into it!  
  
Marth himself stepped in and sealed it. They were then put into a remote location in Middle Earth.  
  
Gandalf raised his hand in the air, "Mister I beg of you I just want to be left alone. I can give you power beyond your wildest dreams just leave us be."  
  
"You mean powers like this?" Marth said and made one of Legolas' nails break.  
  
"OHH NO!" Legolas screamed, "You broke my nail."  
  
Frodo started to laugh uncontrollably. Marth made Frodo's hair lose its curl.  
  
"My hair I spent hours on that before Sam and I left Bag End!" Frodo said.  
  
Sam was the next one to laugh. Marth took away his frying pan.  
  
"You fiend I haven't had second breakfast yet!" Sam said, snarling.  
  
Marth looked up. Anyone else want to laugh? All of them shook their heads, except Pippin who ran up and tried to jump on Marth. Marth took away his Scottish accent. It made him sound more intelligent.  
  
Legolas was still whining about his nail, "Sauron did the same thing to me during the War of the Ring, you must be as evil as him!"  
  
"Sauron? Evil? I guess I have a story to tell you," Marth said. "The story is called Sauron: The Friend of the Free People of Middle-Earth."  
  
Gandalf looked horrified, "You can't be telling the truth!"  
  
"It's a little thing called "Author's Privileges" and it is also called a FanFic. So I can do anything I want to do in this story. If I want Sauron to be a good guy in my story then it can happen!" Marth said.  
  
Gandalf sat down looking defeated.  
  
"Never trust an Author!" Gimli yelled.  
  
Kitty popped up and slapped Gimli, "Sorry Marth that just insulted me very badly!" She disappeared again.  
  
"Now on with the story. Once upon a time Sauron was a kindly old Mary-Sue who gave her heart to a warrior. The young elf that was the bearer of her heart was a strange elf that loved art and men. His name was Legolas."  
  
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Legolas shouted.  
  
"Author's privileges" Marth replied simply and continued his story, "Legolas was a nice but rough person to live with. Sauron loved Legolas very much and gave him the pet name Leggie-Chan. Leggie-Chan and Sauron lived in a tower call Bara-Dur. There they kept their pets, SpongeBob FirePants the Balrog, Old Fat the Cave Troll, a 600-year-old pink fluffy unicorn named Psycho. Leggie-Chan was almost maimed by Psycho's single horn."  
  
"You are horrible author-person!" Legolas said crying, "I hate Mary-Sues they are the worst. Why do they have to be better at everything?"  
  
"Legolas shut up this is interesting," Pippin said.  
  
"Fool it is all lies! He is corrupting your minds so you will trust Sauron thinking that Leggie-Ch.I mean Legolas did something mean to Sauron when, I mean if, he was a Mary-Sue!" Gandalf said.  
  
"Hey you just sounded like more of a moron than me!" Pippin said.  
  
"Gandalf! Pippin!" Marth shouted, "I must finish my story. Now Legolas once accused Sauron of breaking one of his nails. Legolas had Psycho maim Sauron. Sauron used her power (now a he) to come back to life and wage war against the elves. That is why the elves and all other free peoples are hated. BECAUSE OF LEGOLAS!"  
  
"No it isn't true!" Legolas said. "I didn't want Psycho to maim Sauron. The stupid unicorn did all by itself!"  
  
"You mean you were in love with the enemy?" Frodo said.  
  
At this point the Fellowship left Legolas sitting down. Marth just smiled.  
  
A little corny yes but funny none the less. Be sure to read the LOTR parodies by jaguarkitty2006 they are much better than mine. 


End file.
